One afternoon she was sitting with me,casually on the bed. I had just finished my homework and was drawing casually on a piece of paper. I remember it like yesterday.
She started drawing with me , She drew a flower on a paper. This is the flower she had tough me how to draw since i was a little girl. This is the same flower she would always draw. It seemed like she likes it . She dew it so beautifully. It seemed she was enjoying it, like creating a masterpiece on a paper. I would ask her to teach me another kind, but she would always enjoy drawing this one the most or that’s what i thought. Sometimes with different colors, mix two colors and give different shades with pencil.
Last night as i was getting ready to sleep,sitting on my bed, i took out my notebook from my side table, wrote gratitude statements and started drawing on the next sheet .
What i held in my hand was the same flower, felt as if i had gone back in time and she was sitting right next to me showing me how to draw it step by step. I drew it exactly like how she used to .
Now in my hand was this paper with beautiful ,simple flowers that looks like drawn by a small child.
It feels so strange looking at it…. Feels like this picture is incomplete. Yes, i am still here, yes the flower is still here, drawn perfectly … but she is not here……. Her image is here in my mind as real as anything. Her memory is as fresh as if it was yesterday…
Where did she go ? How can someone who is as real as flesh and blood,full of love and care, feelings and emotions, tears and laughter…. someone you can touch and feel and hug and hold is here one moment and gone another. This isn’t a game that someone is out of it only till the game is over. This is reality . It feels as if someone erased a real person from the canvas and all that is left is memories and imprints . Present one day and absent the next day . So real yet feels so unreal. So true yet feels like so not true. So dreamlike.
So what is real and what is dream ?
The fact is I am still in a dream and and one day I will wake up from this dream and there will be no way to return back to it.
So lets just be with people who are in our life, let go of all small grudges and small hurts … none of small stuff will matter in the end .What matters is how well we live each moment, how we make others feel, what imprints we leave behind… Each moment spend with another person is precious. You never know which moment is the last moment.
Every moment we leave an imprint, some are cast in sand and some are cast in stone.
Yes one day I too will wake up from the dream. I get my solace from knowing that those who woke up before us will be there to great us that day. Till then, her memories are here, what she taught me is here, lessons I can learn from her life is here with me, her love and affection is here and will always be here and that is the most precious legacy.